Monday, September 11, 2006

I know I said this blog was only for knitting, but I lied. I need to vent to someone and Dave's not helpful because he just gets angry with me and that is just a cycle waiting to happen.

I'm very depressed and frustrated with teaching at this point. I've lived my life around teachers and knowing I wanted to be one when I grew up. Now I'm wishing I was a carpet cleaner or a pooper scooper...anything but a teacher. I've spent my whole life wanting this and suddenly, I no longer want it. I don't like my kids, I don't like my school, and I don't like teaching. How could I have wasted so much time to get to the end and hate it? I mean I still love the quest for knowledge, but these kids are limp noodles most days. And demon spawn the next. I have had a bad day with my 4th block kids and I just want a break. I am going to break if this keeps up. They have taken all of my joy and crushed the life out of it. I hate waking up each morning knowing I have to do deal with these monsters that parents send to school daily. Most of these kids will end up scaping out of high school with a hope and a prayer. I'm so negative, but jesus...they beat me down every day I go in. And no matter what I try, it seems as though it ends in failure.

I've just had such a bad day that I want to quit and never go back in another high school as long as I live. It says something serious when someone who has always wanted to teach and is overly qualified to do can't stand to be in the classroom.


lauriec said...


I can't offer much other than hugs!

My degree is in education (BS secondary ed/ history/ english) & I never taught a day in my life! I reached a point after graduation where I realized I really didn't want to be in a classroom for the rest of my life.

That being said---you ARE going to have bad days & bad classes & bad kids. You ARE going to be mocked & made fun of & eyes rolling etc.

But somewhere in that sea of idiots will be the one student that will gain so much from being in your class. The one whose life is changed because of YOU.

Don't let the badseeds beat you down. Be there for those who truly need you & whose lives will be richer because of you!

Lacey said...

Thank you. I needed that and a stong drink after that day. After I had a mental meltdown, I just got over it. They irritate me to no end, but I'm over them now. It's not me they dislike, it's not that I can't teach, it's that they are from a culture and a society that promotes ignorance and foolishness. This county needs help and I'm going to make it through by sheer stubborness and spite. I'm too damn smart to let them rattle my brain. Thank you for you kind words. And thanks for stopping by my side of the woods! :D