I know I said this blog was only for knitting, but I lied. I need to vent to someone and Dave's not helpful because he just gets angry with me and that is just a cycle waiting to happen.
I'm very depressed and frustrated with teaching at this point. I've lived my life around teachers and knowing I wanted to be one when I grew up. Now I'm wishing I was a carpet cleaner or a pooper scooper...anything but a teacher. I've spent my whole life wanting this and suddenly, I no longer want it. I don't like my kids, I don't like my school, and I don't like teaching. How could I have wasted so much time to get to the end and hate it? I mean I still love the quest for knowledge, but these kids are limp noodles most days. And demon spawn the next. I have had a bad day with my 4th block kids and I just want a break. I am going to break if this keeps up. They have taken all of my joy and crushed the life out of it. I hate waking up each morning knowing I have to do deal with these monsters that parents send to school daily. Most of these kids will end up scaping out of high school with a hope and a prayer. I'm so negative, but jesus...they beat me down every day I go in. And no matter what I try, it seems as though it ends in failure.
I've just had such a bad day that I want to quit and never go back in another high school as long as I live. It says something serious when someone who has always wanted to teach and is overly qualified to do can't stand to be in the classroom.