Thursday, November 03, 2011

I miss the 90s

The 90s seemed to be a Wonka-lika wonderland filled with hope, goodness, and prosperity for most folks I knew. I was a kid with zero responsibilities or bills, but I remember the 90s being a time of plenty for the folks around me. The innernet was new and bubbly. (Thanks for that btw Mr. Gore!)

Even the early 2000s shaped back up after 2001 and were ok. I was in college with scholarship money to burn. I had hope. I had a FUTURE! I was going to change the world.

Yeah, 6 years down the road, and I find myself fresh out of all of those things: scholarship money, hope, the desire to change the world.

Now I'm jaded. I'm cynical to the point of being a severe pessimist. I didn't change the world. My degree didn't help me get a good paying job. The future just looks like more bills, more work, and even less money day after day.

At work, things are terrible. Our lab just had to cut hours by 50%. Yeah. Hearing that was GREAT!

So that explains my negative nelly attitude in this post. But in general, I'm really tired of the economy, unemployment, elected officials, protests, paying bills, being responsible, be a grown-up. It would seem that I'm primed for a job in our government. Badaboom-ching!

Anway. I just miss when things were bright and wonderful. Where's that blue bird that once sang to me from my shoulder? It feels like the glass isn't half empty or half full; it seems like the glass is shattered on the floor. Today, I feel every inch a member of my jaded generation.

At least knitting still holds true. I can always trust my needles to see me through. If I move them in the same way, time and again- if I work really hard, I'll come out with something useful, functional, and possibly beautiful. Knitting is the only place in my life that I feel that way any more. I once thought that if I worked hard enough that it would make me happy. That I would feel like my actions meant something. I've learned time and again this year that it isn't true. It doesn't matter how hard you work when education is last on everyone's balance sheets.

So here's to making your own happy. To finding that silver lining even if you have to scrape through 10 layers of crap to get to it. In this month of gratitude and thankfulness, I am still happy that I am mostly employed. But I can be bitter and thankful all at the same time, right?

I'll pack up my pity party now and head on back to knitting. I just felt the need to vent that out there. It lightens the load on my shoulders. Feels like the whole world is up there these days. :D

And thanks for the love about my successes at the fair. It means a lot. :)


~RaenWa~ said...

There are many time when I look back on life and think what went wrong with certain situation.

I keep hoping & wishing that things get better just when you think things are looking good you get knocked back 10 steps.

Holly S. said...

I can SO identify with this post. I feel like a lot of things are out of control, but needles and yarn? I got that.